


KEEP CALM and USE THE WOK

by salt



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Asthma Attacks, Blood, Murder, Serial Killers, Skull bashing, Stabbing, Tumblr Prompt, creepy?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 20:43:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3742945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salt/pseuds/salt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Bill and Dipper trapped in a bathroom by a serial killer like in saw</p><p>(I've never actually watched saw and I don't know the plot so I improvised.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	KEEP CALM and USE THE WOK

**Author's Note:**

> hope you like scared sad boyfriends

They had known there was a serial killer on the loose, it had been on the news but you just… You just never expect this sort of thing to happen to  _you._

“Oh god, Oh my god this can’t be happening.” Dipper had the flat of his back pressed against the bathroom door, having just locked himself and his boyfriend securely inside. 

_He was inside their house._

The scariest part was after they were secured in the bathroom, they couldn’t hear a sound coming from the other side of the door. Dipper strained his ears to listen but between the blood pounding in his ears and his panicked breathing he couldn’t hear much. 

Bill was livid. 

Dipper had shoved him into the bathroom before the former-demon had a chance to fight the murderer. He stood facing Dipper, his fingers clenched into claws and his jaw set. The dangerous expression on his face was not helping Dipper’s panic attack.

“Dipper get out of the way.” 

“N-No, No I’m not letting you go out there P-please you’re not going out there.” 

“I gave up my immortality to be with you, I’m not going to let some psycho meatbag make that go to waste.”

“Bill if you go out there we’re just a-as screwed. He’ll kill you and then-” _I’ll be alone._  Suddenly Dipper couldn’t breathe. “D-Dont l-leave me a-alone d-dont leave me dont-”

Bill jumped forward to catch Dipper before he fell. 

“Shh- Hey- Okay okay, I’m not going anywhere. Yeesh kid come on- Where’s your inhaler…” He helped Dipper sit down on the toilet, rubbing his back as the boy wheezed. 

“I”  _gasp_  “Left it”  _gasp_  “In my”  _gasp_  “jacket”

Bill cursed and glanced at the bathroom door. 

“Don’t you”  _gasp_  “dare”

“Look, I’m not about to let you fucking choke to death in my arms.” He pressed a kiss to Dipper’s forehead and looked at him for a moment before moving swiftly to the bathroom door and slipping through it. 

 _“BILL!”_ Dipper would have screamed if he had had the breath, but he was just left, tears spilling down his cheeks, rasping for breath.

He had never felt so alone and so  _terrified._  

It felt like hours. 

He heard no sound though white noise ran rampant. 

Bill was dead. Bill was dead and he was next. 

His lungs felt raw. His head was light. 

His panic had faded to a dull ache but he still cried. 

He slowly accepted that Bill would not be coming for him. No one would be coming for him. Any moment now someone wearing the blood of his lover would come through the door to give him the same fate. 

Dipper jumped, his breath catching. Suddenly there was a sound, voices. 

Something was running for the bathroom door, this was it. 

He took a choked breath and shut his eyes. 

“Dipper!” 

His eyes flew open. 

There stood Bill, one eye wide and a beaming grin on his face. 

His torso was also covered in blood. 

“B-BILL???” Dipper coughed. 

“I’m sorry I took so long! I couldn’t find your inhaler so I just went to the hospital to get one and then the Ambulance gave me a ride here!” 

Dipper just stared at Bill in horror, momentarily forgetting his lack of breath. 

“OH also, we’re going to need a new wok, I kind of used ours to smash in our house guest’s skull!” 

He could here the voices of paramedics filing through his house. “Where did he go?” “He said in the bathroom right?” “Follow the blood!”

Bill reached out to him, revealing a purple inhaler in his blood smeared hand. Dipper also then noticed how pale and shaky his boyfriend looked. 

“Here! Oh also- I kind of got stabbed! So, I’m going to sit down now.” and that’s when he collapsed to the floor. 

Dipper screamed, the paramedics quickly located the pair (and the serial killer) and loaded them into the ambulance. 

~

Four days later, Dipper sat next to Bill’s hospital bed, exchanging careful words with the nurse before she wandered off. He looked at Bill’s resting face and sighed.

“You fucking idiot.”

Bill’s singular eye opened slightly. 

“Hey- I saved the day didn’t I?” Dipper scoffed, lifting his hand to rest it on Bill’s and absentmindedly curving his fingers into the former demons. 

“Yeah. But you probably could have gone easy on the wok.” He noted. 

“Nobody touches my Pine Tree.” Bill growled quietly, glancing away. Dipper’s grip tightened on his hand. 

“…Just be careful next time okay?” 

Bill rolled his head to towards the boy to look at him straight on. 

“Yeah yeah, you too.”

Dipper leaned in, brushing noses with his lover just as a  _very_  loud and  _very_  concerned twin sister burst in. 

“DIPPER SHOULD YOU BE OUT OF BED? IS BILL HEALTHY ENOUGH TO HOLD HANDS!!!?? I BROUGHT FLOWERS AND MABEL JUICE!” 

Dipper jumped back, embarrassed as his sister engulfed him in a hug. 

“ALSO I made you sweaters! They say “I survived a serial killer attack!”. I was originally going to go with KEEP CALM and USE THE WOK but I figured a more straight forward message was better in this situation.” 

“AW I like the wok one better!” Bill whined. Mabel just laughed. “I’ll make you a bumper sticker!” 

“How about an apron?” Dipper suggested. 

“Even better! I’ll even add little blood splotches.” His twin beamed. 

“Oh god.” 

“I like you’re style Shooting Star!” 

Mabel sat down along side her brother next to Bill’s bed, starting up a wild story she insisted would rival their homicidal maniac encounter. What a time to be alive. Dipper glanced at Bill, who was thoroughly enjoying the story. 

What a time indeed. 

**Author's Note:**

> this is far from my best writing but i just spat this out and decided "i bet someone on ao3 would enjoy this too, sure"


End file.
